You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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