super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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