therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
