My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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