and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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