I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
