You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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