Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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