dude i'm inner monologue high
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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