Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
