Old men and throwing up are my life now.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
he fucked my hip out of place.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
