you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
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