we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize
