Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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