this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
