remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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