i jhust puked up my retainher.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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