I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
