I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
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