i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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