I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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