Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
