She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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