I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
