I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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