im about as happy as oj after his trial
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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