So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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