i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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