i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You're like the curious george of whores
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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