I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize