If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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