No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
