My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize