She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
