dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
