I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
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