Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
