His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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