:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
