Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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