I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
handjob tips. give me some.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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