thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
birth control should be required to get into college
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
