That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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