At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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