I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
