your thong is hanging out like whoa
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
