Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
