I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
