a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
