idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
