so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Vodka?
Forever.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
