So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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