The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
