She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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