also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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