I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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