I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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