I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
