yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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