Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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