I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
